Getting It Down

Well the surgery was a success, all went well, was not too sick, wounds are healing, body is still functioning. I am so incredibly grateful to Dusty, Mom, Dad, my friends and family, my surgeon, and God for getting me through it.
Now the hardest part is to get it all down.
Vitamins, Supplements, Protein, Pills, it's all a blur at the end of the day, but I am getting that routine down. Eating enough, eating right, eating small, sip sip sip, and walk walk walk. I am working on that too.
Wrapping my head around that it ACTUALLY HAPPENED, that's the hardest part to get down. I have waited and hoped and cried and suffered for so long and now it's done. I have the ultimate opportunity in front of me. To be healthy and turn my life around, and my biggest fear is screwing it up! While I am fighting being tired, I am flooded with the fear of am I already messing myself up? Am I going to be able to handle it all? Dusty says I don't laugh as much as I did, did I screw that up too?
Today I chose not to sabotage myself and get out of my own way long enough to see that if I keep doing what I am supposed to do, my dream will come true. My life is so great in all areas that this one last thing is IN MY GRASP, I just have to grab it and do it.
Today fear will not rule me, I will live in my faith.
Tomorrow, I will repeat today....